Parenting

the boom the world witnesses today than it was during our childhood. The law of nature addresses itself to the needs of the times and brings about the necessary changes accordingly. Basically, it would be apt to admit that the modern child is genetically advanced as compared to us – the elders.

The Dilemma

The great dilemma that emerges at this juncture is the dilemma of parenting the gifted by those without it. It would be unfair to call ourselves incapable nevertheless, it would be magnanimous to accept that our task is difficult.

If we prepare ourselves for the difficulties that abound our task, we shall be able to take courage and learn from our failures then our resolutions shall not fail.

The best way to fondle the dilemma of our responsibilities and our abilities to live up to them is to be adaptive to situations and take the problems when they come.

Confidence is the key to success. We should be confident and our intent should be correct.

We should be open to amendments in our way of thinking and sure the parenting will be well done.

Our Expectations

Some of the basics that we look forward to in our children relate to issues of obedience, etiquette, social behaviour, language and general conduct.

The century has changed from subservient children to questioning youngsters looking up to their parents for decisions of life and living and simultaneously seeking sense and reason in all that they are advised. Now the young minds are analytical minds excessively engaged in the charting the course of their careers guided by the fuel of their attitudes, aptitudes, likes and aspirations.  

Why a Daunting Task

It has been a daunting task to parent the child of 21^st century because it poses a very telling responsibility. While our children have matured genetically into more engrossing creations, it has become incumbent upon the present day parent to cater to the new demands of parenting and acquire the more accommodative and less assertive mantle of parenthood.  

Easier said than done – the challenges are across the wide panorama of everyday buzz intertwined with the perpetual hankering of a meaningful and successful adult life for a purposeful living.

Whatever be the ability of the individual parent, the challenges always stand at the threshold of the able and the weak alike.

The problems of life are the problems in personality as they may be more aptly called, have their roots in our childhood.

We need to begin resolutions of problems right when they spring up from the alluvial of ignorance or innocence. It is at that specific time that the sprouts of undesirable mannerisms, thoughts, actions or anything of the like should be rooted out and confined to the declines of rout so that they do not ever spring up like eternal evils inherit in all soils of growth and development.

The effort to identify, isolate and remove undesirable aspects should be designed according to the age group and socio economic line of the child. It is pertinent to ensure that in our enthusiasm to make a moral child we do not over run the latent energy and the basic creativity that forms the fundamental nectar of the sweetness of all future emergence. Therefore the ‘stop it’ phenomenon should be conduit in the polished passage of awareness of individual respect and ability to grasp and understand at a given age.

NO’s and DON’T’s

The very making of adult personalities reposes in the couch of no’s and don’ts. Very often we are engaged in conceiving the don’ts and not be done’s while rarely do we engage in planning or cultivating the alternatives that could actually see the light of achievements.

These alternatives need to be focused upon chartered together and harnessed in the right direction to ensure the progressive furthering of the clay waiting molding – the child’s personality – in the hands of the potter the parent or the adult guide. Easy as it may seem it is not so. The haunt of alternative to negatives is shrouded in the thick smug of the adult ego that deems to exercise a perennial right over the smoldering of the child self respect and ability.

In the perspective of successful strides towards amenable equities of acceptable social levels and  admire social ethics it becomes desirable to coat the dries of effort with layers of support. The reference is to the basic catalyst provided as the child advances towards acquisition of acceptable, behavioral norms. This is encouragement.

An oft quoted adage ‘smooth runs the water where the brook is deep’ applies in Toto when we refer to adult behaviour. Constructive outlook with a positive mandate of effective thoughts and meaningful ends should circumference the adult interaction with the child.

One must be able eulogize the idol one seeks to derive from. The right kind of ethics that need to be embedded in the frame of the child’s personality have to be given in the right manner through the right person at the right time. Positive interaction is the basis of advancing effective blossoms that brighten the Eden of life.

The Mentor

The degree of any effective impression that could be cast on any person’s life, largely depends upon the depth of involvement of the mentor. The involvement is fundamental to  understanding the child’s  point of view as well as granting the opportunity to understand the parents /  point of view. Further this is this involvement that melts the glacier of distance between the two warring age  groups and makes them flow down the prosperous river of life tinkling the jingles of pleasure in  unison.

Very often we find that the short cut to mend ways is adopted through coercion or threat. Have we ever thought and taken into account the fact that all our bulling the young largely depends upon the advantage of physical prowess that adults  have over children. It must be remembered that these tables are set to turn once the children mature into youth while the adult decline into old age. Today the great divide between the youth and old age has a good share of the plethora of pleasure techniques adopted by the then adult (now the old age) to the then child (now the youth).

The Example Of The Self

Above everything and beyond all lies the great factor of self example. A very prominent method of parenting lies in presenting to the child examples of the self. Difficult to digest, nevertheless the hard  fact it will always remain –  the child can be expected to care for  what the parents say only if the parents are able to demonstrate that they too care for what their adults tell. Parents ought to understand the treatment meted out by them to their parents will leave a comprehensive impact on how they would be treated by their children. For all good things that we expect of others we must ensure that a section of that is apportioned in our own words and deeds so that at least our expectations find expressions in our selves as well.  

When we were talking of positive interaction a very important section of that indicated the power of reasoning. Be it the young or the old, logic propounded in the right methodology has a prevailing appeal on all. The impact is even more encompassing and effective when we try to do this as a tool to affect those who think that they may not be given this opportunity. Children respond with lot of zeal towards reasonable and meaningful discussions that provide them with enough meaning to indulge themselves into the growing up process as shown by their parents.

Finally we must understand that it is our duty to help our children to be successful and it should never be our intent to catch them unawares in the wrong act that is not desired by us. We must very carefully note that the pleasure of being appreciated for what is expected completely orients itself in the domain of the knowledge of expectations.

So at the core of the desired behaviour of the child lies his knowledge of the behaviour type. Parents should be very very clear in making children know their expectations and also helping children groom abilities to live up to those expectations. Ideally a worthy parent monitors the child to ensure that desirable behaviour is forth coming and puts in corrective measures whenever required.

When you have made your child aware of your approval of his companionship and hangouts you do not leave the child with any chance of disappointment of any reasons when you grant permission for the approved group and deny the same for the same who are outside the periphery of your approval.

Before we drill upon some of the aspects of is desired of the perpetual yearn of the modern day parent let us look into our own make as a parent. Let us shred ourselves and examine one aspect of our parental attitude. Please run through the quizzical build up that follows and tick the right answer generally that strikes you first.